Christianity, Homosexuality and Ex-Gay Programs. My Opinion.

Quite often I find being a Christian tough.  Not because I have a lot of trouble with most of the ‘Commandments’ but more to do with what I see as hurtful acts that are done in the name of Christianity and to me these acts fly in the face of everything I believe in.  One of the biggest struggles I have is the Christian churches response to homosexuality.  According to many the Bible states that being or at least the act of homosexuality is an abomination. There is much debate over whether this is in fact what the Bible says and the translation you believe will essentially depend on how you view homosexuality.

Throughout the entire Bible it seems that there are only a small number of references to ‘homosexual activity’.

It must be noted that there is no term that means homosexual orientation in the original Hebrew, Aramaic and Greek texts of the Bible.  The authors of the Bible did not understand sexual orientation and thus did not write about it. Biblical authors had little or no understanding of same-sex committed relationships. Rather, they assumed that everyone was heterosexual, but that some heterosexuals engaged in sex with persons of the same gender. Thus, when you see one of these words in an English translation of the Bible, it is important to dig deeper and find what the original Hebrew or Greek text really means.  It also indicates that the Bible is most likely not an authoritative text when it comes to same-sex committed relationships.  The term homosexual was coined in the late 1800s when human sexuality first became studied as a science.

The most often quoted scriptures are:

Gn 19:1-11 (Destruction of Sodom - see comments section for analysis)

Lev 20:13 KJV: If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.

1 Cor 6:9-10. KJV: Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.

1 Tim 1:9-10. KJV: Knowing this, that the law is not made for a righteous man, but for the lawless and disobedient, for the ungodly and for sinners, for unholy and profane, for murderers of fathers and murderers of mothers, for manslayers, For whoremongers, for them that defile themselves with mankind, for menstealers, for liars, for perjured persons, and if there be any other thing that is contrary to sound doctrine

Rom 1:26-27 KJV: For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet.

Rom 1:26-27 NIV: Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones. In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed indecent acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their perversion.

 

The Leviticus quote gets plenty of use in the anti-homosexual cause, possibly because of the abomination word as it is a very strong word and good for the cause against homosexuality.  Wow imagine being an abomination! Plus the penalty for such an action; it is very harsh indeed. But just to put it into some context here are some other actions/consequences that seem most strange or barbaric in our modern times:

 

Cursing your parents

Leviticus 21: 9 NIV: If anyone curses his father or mother, he must be put to death. He has cursed his father or his mother, and his blood will be on his own head.

 

Adultery

Leviticus 21: 10 NIV: If a man commits adultery with another man's wife—with the wife of his neighbor—both the adulterer and the adulteress must be put to death.

 

Restitution

Leviticus 24: 19-20 NIV: If anyone injures his neighbor, whatever he has done must be done to him: fracture for fracture, eye for eye, tooth for tooth. As he has injured the other, so he is to be injured.

 

Eating shellfish and animals that are an abomination.

Leviticus 11: 9-19 KJV: These shall ye eat of all that are in the waters: whatsoever hath fins and scales in the waters, in the seas, and in the rivers, them shall ye eat. And all that have not fins and scales in the seas, and in the rivers, of all that move in the waters, and of any living thing which is in the waters, they shall be an abomination unto you: They shall be even an abomination unto you; ye shall not eat of their flesh, but ye shall have their carcases in abomination. Whatsoever hath no fins nor scales in the waters that shall be an abomination unto you. And these are they which ye shall have in abomination among the fowls; they shall not be eaten, they are an abomination: the eagle, and the ossifrage, and the ospray, And the vulture, and the kite after his kind; Every raven after his kind; And the owl, and the night hawk, and the cuckow, and the hawk after his kind, And the little owl, and the cormorant, and the great owl, And the swan, and the pelican, and the gier eagle, And the stork, the heron after her kind, and the lapwing, and the bat.

So don’t worry if you are an abomination, as you are not alone even shellfish are an abomination, as are some very beautiful birds, as are many other animals as the list just goes on and on ……..

 

Childbirth

Leviticus 12: 1-5 NIV: The LORD said to Moses, "Say to the Israelites: 'A woman who becomes pregnant and gives birth to a son will be ceremonially unclean for seven days, just as she is unclean during her monthly period. On the eighth day the boy is to be circumcised. Then the woman must wait thirty-three days to be purified from her bleeding. She must not touch anything sacred or go to the sanctuary until the days of her purification are over. If she gives birth to a daughter, for two weeks the woman will be unclean, as during her period. Then she must wait sixty-six days to be purified from her bleeding.

If you are a woman you are obviously better to give birth to a boy instead of a girl, because then you won’t be as unclean for as long.

 

Some Miscellaneous quotes

Leviticus 19: 19 NIV: Do not wear clothing woven of two kinds of material. Deuteronomy 21:11 Do not wear clothes of wool and linen woven together.

 Leviticus 19: 26 NIV: Do not eat any meat with the blood still in it  I guess don’t order a steak cooked rare from now on..

Leviticus 19: 27 NIV:  Do not cut the hair at the sides of your head or clip off the edges of your beard.

 

How to get out of war service

Deuteronomy 20: 6-9. Has anyone planted a vineyard and not begun to enjoy it? Let him go home, or he may die in battle and someone else enjoy it.  Has anyone become pledged to a woman and not married her? Let him go home, or he may die in battle and someone else marry her." Then the officers shall add, "Is any man afraid or fainthearted? Let him go home so that his brothers will not become disheartened too."  When the officers have finished speaking to the army, they shall appoint commanders over it

Deuteronomy 24: 5. If a man has recently married, he must not be sent to war or have any other duty laid on him. For one year he is to be free to stay at home and bring happiness to the wife he has married.

 

Actions in war.

Deuteronomy 20:10- 15. When you march up to attack a city, make its people an offer of peace. If they accept and open their gates, all the people in it shall be subject to forced labor and shall work for you. If they refuse to make peace and they engage you in battle, lay siege to that city. When the LORD your God delivers it into your hand, put to the sword all the men in it. As for the women, the children, the livestock and everything else in the city, you may take these as plunder for yourselves. And you may use the plunder the LORD your God gives you from your enemies. This is how you are to treat all the cities that are at a distance from you and do not belong to the nations nearby.

 

Tough Love

Deuteronomy 21:18- 21. If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son who does not obey his father and mother and will not listen to them when they discipline him, his father and mother shall take hold of him and bring him to the elders at the gate of his town. They shall say to the elders, "This son of ours is stubborn and rebellious. He will not obey us. He is a profligate and a drunkard." Then all the men of his town shall stone him to death.

 

Watch where you put your hands.  I wonder if this applies to male athletes?

Deuteronomy 25:11. If two men are fighting and the wife of one of them comes to rescue her husband from his assailant, and she reaches out and seizes him by his private parts, you shall cut off her hand. Show her no pity.

 

In total there are 613 Commandments (mitzvoth) in the Old Testament.  In modern times these are considered Jewish laws.  Many of these 613 mitzvot cannot be observed at this time for various reasons. For example, a large portion of the laws relate to sacrifices and offerings, which can only be made in the Temple, and the Temple does not exist today. Some of the laws relate to the theocratic state of Israel, its king, its supreme court, and its system of justice, and cannot be observed because the theocratic state of Israel does not exist today. In addition, some laws do not apply to all people or places. Agricultural laws only apply within the state of Israel, and certain laws only apply to kohanim or Levites.

My point is that some where along the line as Christians ‘we’ have decided or the decision had been made for us which of the 613 Commandments we will follow and which we will not.  So to quote Leviticus in terms of homosexuality in my opinion is irrelevant, because if we as Christians have decided not to follow certain Jewish practices because they don’t suit us, then I can’t logically see how we can quote Leviticus as a relevant text for Christians.  But if you are not satisfied with my explanation then that is fine by me, you are quite welcome to hop on the rollercoaster ride of the translation of the Leviticus scripture.  But I will not be.  In my opinion the scripture in question is not perfectly clear in its translation.

 

Moving onto the other scripture references to homosexuality this time the New Testament

1 Cor 6:9-10. KJV: Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.

1 Tim 1:9-10. KJV: Knowing this, that the law is not made for a righteous man, but for the lawless and disobedient, for the ungodly and for sinners, for unholy and profane, for murderers of fathers and murderers of mothers, for manslayers, For whoremongers, for them that defile themselves with mankind, for menstealers, for liars, for perjured persons, and if there be any other thing that is contrary to sound doctrine

Rom 1:26-27  KJV: For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet.

See the comments section of the next post for a more in depth discussion of this passage.

 

It should be noted that there was only a single author of the last three scriptures they were written by the same person, namely Paul.  So we aren’t actually hearing a different point of view, just the same one said by the same person.

 

The last scripture Rom 1:26-27 is interesting. It is referring to women and men who exchange natural relations for unnatural ones.  If we believe that gay and lesbians do not have a choice when it comes to their sexual orientation, then their natural inclination would be to be involved in a same sex relationship and therefore they are not changing what is natural to them. 

In the other scriptures you can see it isn’t as if ‘homosexuals’ have been totally singled out, oh no they have the company of liars, thieves, cheats, lawbreakers, drunkards, the greedy and the slanderers etc, which probably includes all of us at some time or another.

So let he who has never told a lie pass judgement otherwise it is best to keep quiet if you intend to pass judgement on another.

Romans 2: 1-11. You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge the other, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things. Now we know that God's judgment against those who do such things is based on truth. So when you, a mere man, pass judgment on them and yet do the same things, do you think you will escape God's judgment? Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, tolerance and patience, not realizing that God's kindness leads you toward repentance?

 But because of your stubbornness and your unrepentant heart, you are storing up wrath against yourself for the day of God's wrath, when his righteous judgment will be revealed. God "will give to each person according to what he has done." To those who by persistence in doing good seek glory, honor and immortality, he will give eternal life. But for those who are self-seeking and who reject the truth and follow evil, there will be wrath and anger. There will be trouble and distress for every human being who does evil: first for the Jew, then for the Gentile; but glory, honor and peace for everyone who does good: first for the Jew, then for the Gentile. For God does not show favoritism.

I find it interesting that there is so much emphasis placed on homosexuality out in the Christian world, whereas it doesn’t rate that much of a mention in the Bible compared to the amount of time spent debating about the subject.  Jesus came down to Earth to teach us all how to live well, treat others well and be saved from our sins.  In all the time he was on Earth he never once actually condemned/mentioned anyone committing a homosexual act.  The only person who mentions ‘homosexuality’ (not by name as the term wasn’t coined until the 1800s) was Paul after Jesus had left this Earth. 

 

Given I prefer to follow Jesus and I cannot find any evidence of him mentioning a problem with homosexuality, I will be standing up for the rights of people with a LGBT orientation.

Paul has an interesting take on marriage.

1 Corinthians 7:8-9. Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

So where does that leave the LGBT person? 

In my opinion and in many people’s opinions being LGBT is not a matter of choice.

·         [H]omosexuality is not an illness. It does not require treatment and is not changeable.
American Psychological Association, Answers to Your Questions About Sexual Orientation and Homosexuality, July 1998

·         There is no published scientific evidence supporting the efficacy of “reparative therapy” as a treatment to change one’s sexual orientation... American Psychiatric Association, Statement, Dec. 11, 1998

·         [We] oppose any psychiatric treatment, such as “reparative” or “conversion” therapy which is based upon the assumption that homosexuality per se is a mental disorder or based on the a priori assumption that the patient should change his/her homosexual orientation. American Medical Association, Resolution, 2000

·         [I]t seems appropriate to understand sexual orientation (heterosexual or homosexual) as a deep-seated dimension of one’s personality and to recognize its relative stability in a person. Always Our Children: A Pastoral Message to Parents of Homosexual Children and Suggestions for Pastoral Ministers, NCCB Committee on Marriage and Family, Third Printing, Revised, June 1998

·         The United States Catholic Conference (USCC) talks of “those persons for whom homosexuality is a permanent, seemingly irreversible sexual orientation." U.S. Catholic Conference, Human Sexuality: A Catholic Perspective for Education and Lifelong Learning, 1990, p.54-55

 

If it is not a choice then why should LGBT people be condemned not to have the same rights as heterosexual couple’s?  I think it is an utter disgrace in many countries that a married couple of one month can have more rights than a loving gay couple of 20 years.  If we look at Paul’s passage above about single people, in his opinion it is far better for them to marry than to burn with passion.  So if being LGBT is not a choice, would it not be better for them and society for LGBT people to be allowed to create a loving legal marriage.

Instead the church seems to believe that even though it may not be a case of choice, the only answer is for some one who is LGBT to live a purely celibate life.  This seems totally unfair if that person is in a stable loving relationship and especially if that person would marry if given the chance.  To me it is a complete injustice that two people who love each other are not permitted to have their love publicly recognised in a legal marriage ceremony.  What gives anyone the right to dictate as to who should be celibate and who shouldn’t be?  If some one decides to have sex before marriage that should be their business and I accept that it is not what the Christian church view is, but it is not for me to enforce that view as that is between them and their God if they have one.  But in the case of a gay couple the only choice they have according to the church is to be celibate due to a legal marriage not being an option.

One thing I have learnt over the past few years is that there is a seemingly high percentage of people belonging to certain religions that it would not matter how much evidence was put in front of them about certain issues, they would still prefer to say no the evidence is wrong.  So I know that if it was possible to prove beyond a doubt that being of LGBT orientation was NOT a choice, there would still be a large number of people who would say it makes no difference.

It makes me sick that certain ‘Christian’ organisations and Christians themselves have psychologically hurt gay people and have even driven them to suicide.

 

It is disgraceful that there are ‘Christian’ organisations taking advantage of gay people and trying to change their sexual orientation and making them feel worse about themselves than they may already do, not to mention taking large amounts of their money in the process.

Quite frankly I think that some of the people running these programs are actually sexual deviants and do not have the best interests of the gay person in mind when they design these so called ‘therapies’. Allegations include regularly measuring penis size and having to report the results to the group; touching and holding each other and even a weekend retreat totally naked with touching and feeling sessions with complete strangers.  There has also been a criminal conviction against on ‘therapist’, Texas ex-gay therapist Chris Austin was convicted of two counts of felony sexual assault on a patient. Austin was sentenced to 10 years in prison, but received seven years probation, had to register as a sex offender and was ordered to pay a $2,500 fine. He was finally convicted after years of reported abuse - including several alleged victims who testified at the trial.

Do you know what this is?

“In the name of Jesus Christ I say that this creative energy from now on shall flow in its normal channel, and it shall not over-flow anymore to the right hand or to the left hand.  I build high dikes on the right hand and on the left hand and in Jesus' name I command that it shall not overflow to the left hand or the right hand, but it shall flow quietly in its normal channel."

It is an anti-masturbation prayer., a rather bizarre prayer if you ask me  The reason a gay man would recite this ‘prayer’ is because according to the Christian Ex-Gays, masturbation is a gateway to "same-sex attraction" because "it is a form of sex with yourself."  Interesting connection, I bet it is based on sound scientific research; I was being sarcastic by the way.

Just warning any parents out there, if your child turns out to be LGBT then it is your fault.  Sexual brokenness, according to ex-gay doctrine, usually occurs early in childhood, and is caused by a mother who was close, controlling and overbearing; they quote a figure of this occurring in 87% of gay people.  Also in 100% of cases the father/father figure was distant, uninvolved in their upbringing, frightening and unapproachable.   Parents also failed to instill masculinity in their sons. Apparently “Focus on the Family” ex-gay lecturers routinely and flatly declare that all gays and lesbians are victims of childhood sexual abuse.

Reparative or sexual reorientation therapy, as used by the ex-gay movement, has been discredited by virtually all major American medical, psychiatric, psychological and professional counseling organizations. The American Psychological Association, for instance, declared in 2006: "There is simply no sufficiently scientifically sound evidence that sexual orientation can be changed. Our further concern is that the positions espoused by NARTH [the National Association for Research & Therapy of Homosexuality] and Focus on the Family create an environment in which prejudice and discrimination can flourish." The powerful American Medical Association, for its part, officially "opposes the use of 'reparative' or 'conversion' therapy that is based on the assumption that homosexuality per se is a mental disorder or based upon the a priori assumption that the patient should change his/her homosexual orientation."

Many ex-gay proponents admit that total conversion to heterosexuality is at best an elusive goal. Frank Worthen, who runs the ex-gay residential program New Hope writes in his curriculum workbook Steps Out: "Our primary goal is not to make heterosexuals out of homosexual people. God alone determines whether a former homosexual person is to marry and rear a family, or if he (or she) is to remain celibate, serving the Lord with his whole heart." 

 

Jim Burroway from Box Turtle attended the Love Won Out conference.  It seems the whole point of the Love Won Out conferences, put on by Exodus International and Focus On the Family, is to convince parents, loved ones, pastors, teachers, gays, and anyone else that “change is possible.” They often do this without defining what change means, and they often sugarcoat the likelihood of change for everyone. But if you’re lucky enough to attend the right breakout session given by just the right speaker, you just might catch the most honest assessment for the possibility of change you will ever hear.  A member of the ex-gay organisation called Exodus' admits to struggling with homosexuality every day of his life. "Every day, I wake up and deny what comes naturally to me,"

 

Due to the damage these groups are doing to gay people, there are now ex-gay survivor groups emerging.  Scott Tucker, was once a member of an ex-gay organisation and is now openly gay, said that for years he faulted himself for failing to turn straight until he realized the programs had the opposite effect, isolating him in a "ghetto" of gay men trying to become straight.  Shawn O'Donnell, who spent a decade in ex-gay ministries beginning when he was 15, said "I see now that going through these ex-gay experiences caused harm in my life. I heard the message loud and clear that I was a horrible person. I began cutting on myself at such an early age because I just couldn't deal with the fact that I was gay, I grew to hate myself and tried to take my life a few times."  The founder of Love in Action told one former client, “It would almost be better if you weren't alive than to return back to the life that you have struggled so much to leave.”

In my opinion it should be up to LGBT people to be able to live the life they choose to live.  I believe they should be allowed to have the same rights as heterosexual couples.  The available evidence is that ex-gay conversions do not work and their whole purpose is to deny and make people feel guilty of their true identity every day of their life and that is no way to live.  A person who functions as well as a heterosexual person in society, i.e. can hold down a job and contribute to the wellbeing of society shouldn’t have to deny who they are.

 

Christians should not allow these ex-gay groups to be allowed to operate under the Christian banner.  It is an utter disgrace.  The fact that LGBT people feel they need to have to seek treatment from these people is partly to do with the way they are treated by us in the Christian community.

 

A letter of apology from former ex-gay Exodus leaders

As former leaders of ex-gay ministries, we apologize to those individuals and families who believed our message that there is something inherently wrong with being gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender.  Some who heard our message were compelled to try to change an integral part of themselves, bringing harm to themselves and their families. Although we acted in good faith, we have since witnessed the isolation, shame, fear, and loss of faith that this message creates. We apologize for our part in the message of broken truth we spoke on behalf of Exodus and other organizations.

We call on other former ex-gay leaders to join the healing and reconciliation process by adding their names to this apology.

We encourage current leaders of ex-gay programs to have the courage to evaluate the fruit of their programs. We ask them to consider the long-term effects of their ministry.

Signed

Darlene Bogal, Jeremy Marks, Michael Bussee, Vonnie Pitts, Wendy Lawson, Kim Brett.

 

More information:

Anything but Straight: Unmasking the Scandals and Lies

Christian 'Ex-Gays' Brainwash Thousands

Fortunate Families – Catholic Families with Lesbian Daughters and Gay Sons

Homosexuality and Child Sexual Abuse: Science, Religion, and the Slippery Slope

Love Won Out - "Assumptions About What It Means To Be Gay"

Love Won Out - "All Gay People Have Been Sexually Violated?"

Love Won Out - "Advice Given To Parents"

Love Won Out - "If I Pray Hard Enough I Can Change My Child"

Love Won Out – “Gays Like me exist”

Love Won Out - "Mike Haley - The Hope Of Marriage"

Beyond Ex-Gay – A website for those who have survived the ex-gay experience

Apology Statements from former Exodus ex-gay leaders

Ex-Gay Survivor Eric - P2 - The Ex-Gay Program

Ex-Gay Survivor Eric - P3 - Isolation and Exclusion

Ex-Gay Survivor Eric - P4 - Side X Culture

Ex-Gay Survivor Eric - Bonus Q&A

Thanks for taking the time to read this post, it will be the last 'long and serious' post for a while.

Chezza :-)