The Happy Couples - Challenge. I know you are out there, so please enter!
Okay people we have a major problem. Yes it is the same old problem, we only hear the bad news stories, rarely the good news. There are many people writing about their bad relationship issues and where are the good stories? The happy relationships? I know they exist I am in one. So to encourage the people who are getting the wrong impression that all relationships fail or are miserable, I have set a challenge.
I want to hear from the people who are in a tried and tested relationship (with a fellow human being) and you are glad to be in that relationship.
I do have a criteria so here it is:
You must be at least 25 years of age.
You must have lived with your partner for at least two years.
You are essentially happy and content with your relationship.
You can see your relationship lasting the distance and you can see yourself being happy with this person until one of you dies.
This is open to heterosexual couples and same sex couples.
How to enter the challenge:
You can leave a comment here describing your relationship, it can be brief or long it doesn't matter. But please convey the length of time and how you feel about your relationship and whether you have been in bad relationships in the past and have now finally met Mr or Mrs Right.
Or you can write your story on your own blog and leave a link here as a comment and include a very a short description.
The prize:
There is no prize as you already have your prize and you are obviously already winners. But you will be helping some people see that true love does really exist.
Okay here is a bit of my story:
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Comments
Fortunately for me, my old job was advertised just at the time I returned to Queensland. A few months later Mrs Snowy's brother and his wife also came to live there when a job became available. Mrs Snowy came to visit him a couple of years later, and we we subsequently married. We left for Toowoomba a few years later, and here we have remained.
We've now been married for 31 years. We've had our ups and downs, but mostly ups. So, would I have preferred to stay single? No. Do I have any regrets about not marrying younger? No, as I had a lot of issues to sort out which I mostly managed to do by the time I married. Are we happy? Yes, we don't have a lot of shared interests but we are both to the left politically, and have a shared interest in our kids.
And my advice to married couples? Remember that your partner has rights in a relationship too. If both do this, then you'll make it.
Also nice to know a bit more about you too.
Thanks heaps Snowy.
Hi Chezza,
I think anyone who has read my BN blog knows about my relationship so I won't bore you all again, but I will poat this sonnet by Shakespheare, I think it is the most beautiful explanation there is of enduring pure love. It can and does exist. Enjoy!!
Let me not to the marriage of true minds Lines 1-3: When two people bond intellectually (platonically), they Admit impediments. Love is not love should not allow impediments (problems, personal flaws, etc.) to come Which alters when it alteration finds, between them. Love is not love if impediments separate them. Or bends with the remover to remove: bends . . . remove: weakens or succumbs to these impediments in O no! it is an ever-fixed mark response to an offense by the other person (remover) That looks on tempests and is never shaken; Lines 5-8: Metaphor comparing the constancy of real love during It is the star to every wandering bark, difficult times to the constancy of a star that guides ships (barks) Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken. worth's, height: one knows a star is high but does not know its Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks composition Within his bending sickle's compass come: Lines 9-12: Time cannot alter true love although, with his sickle, he can Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks, cut down youth (rosy lips and cheeks). Love remains constant until But bears it out even to the edge of doom. doomsday. .....If this be error and upon me proved, Lines 13-14: If my observations are proven wrong, I never wrote a word .....I never writ, nor no man ever loved. of poetry and never loved..
Sonnet 116 Meaning
Thank you very much for your entry, Your sonnet definitely summed things up beautifully. Plus it did work!
I also saw your entry over at BN, so thanks for the extra work or posting at both sites.
Huge Smiles,
Chezza <:-)
23/4/2007 - My Relationship
Never one to give up on a challenge I will spill all the sickly good times my Partner and I have been through. We meet ten years ago and my partner was just coming out of a marriage, she was willing to stay on for the kids but her ex husband want all the benefits or none at all. So after a terrible two years of guilt from her ex we manged to survive and realise that we had something strong and wonderful. Now don't get me wrong my partner did not leave her ex for me, we meet about six months after they had split. My partners ex is now finally in another relationship as well which has made the kids life more enjoyable and ours as there are no more comments and digs that the kids must hear. As for us well we will be together forever we have a very comfortable relationship now that we worked together to build and are very happy to be raising the kids together.
I have had the bad relationships before and thought I would never recover but I did and my ex's are now very good friends.
My partner and I love each other dearly warts and all.
Thanks for your great story. I knew there were some great stories out there!
Miles of Smiles,
Chezza <:-)
23/4/2007 - Untitled Comment Posted by Anonymous
You must be at least 25 years of age. Yes, I just squeeze in.
You must have lived with your partner for at least two years. Yes, married on April Fool's Day 2002 - boy did my friends give me heaps.
You are essentially happy and content with your relationship. Yes, we have survived rough times but getting happier each year. We are both recycled and helping step-children to come together is challenging for all.
You can see your relationship lasting the distance and you can see yourself being happy with this person until one of you dies. Yes, or until we are both raptured to the new heaven or new earth.
This is open to heterosexual couples and same sex couples. Yes, love being a hetro sexual couple - very glad I'm a hetrosexual chap. Apologies if this offends anyone, but I just do not comprehend why some blokes prefer blokes.
Another great story. Now who would have thought that there would be some happy couple out there? Me!
So come on people don't be shy, share your success stories - we need some good news in our lives and other's need some hope!
Huges Smiles,
Chezza <:-)
I have been married 25 years last December to Mrs Mc after a traditional arranged marriage. (Well sort of an arranged marriage. My Nana renewed her marriage vows and out of 150 guests there was only 2 unmarrieds in the room. Liz and me. As fate(?) would have it we were sitting opposite each other. Sounds like a set up to me.)
I was/am really quite hopeless in matters of the heart so it was probably the only way it was going to happen. Surprisingly my Mum really liked Liz which is no mean feat in itself. About 6 weeks after we met and started hanging out, the RAAF posted me to Perth and somehow I managed to talk Liz into heading over with me.
Ah. That first Sunday morning in a flat in Maylands. I clearly remember sitting on the balcony reading the Sunday Times. Drinking a stubby and smelling a lovely lamb roast cooking inside. Luckily Liz can cook everything but scones.
I don't really understand how it has worked out. A lot of our interests match but plenty of them don't. I fret over politics while Liz can ignore it. Liz is good at sport but I'm crap. I do love to see her doing well but I loved to beat her at squash on the rare occasions that I managed to do it.
As we grow older we change but luckily so far we have both headed the same way. I don't know that it will always be so. There is a bit of life in the old bloke yet. We have just bought a camper trailer and are waiting for it to be delivered. This will be a huge test. Sometimes a McCarthy male needs to lock himself away and I can't see how that might work in a trailer.
Another area that may be troublesome comes to congress of the snake. I have noticed that the old blokes seem to have their eyes on the chicks even more than the young ones. I might end up breaking the drought with some unforseeable consequences.
I guess the reason that things have held together so long are a level of respect for each others views and an enthusiasm to see each other do well. I despair of blokes who seem to think they own their partner. One area where we might differ from others is in the area of the kids. Love them as much as I do, I'd still put Liz first. Some folk seem to value their kids above their partner. I just don't know what is the predominant view.
Wow. I just learned some more about myself.
Thanks Chezza
for your very honest portayal of your relationship.
Snakes are scary things aren't they ;-P
As for putting kids above partners, I believe that partners should work together for the benefit of their children, however the kids will eventually (maybe) move out and then it is back to just the two adults thinking, "Now what? Do I even know you?" So I think couples definitely have to have couple time in order to be a successful couple after the kids move on.
It is amazing what we can learn about ourselves from these type of 'challenges'.
So thanks heaps for your input,
Chezza <:-)
28/4/2007 - Marriage
Posted by Rikki
Robert and I will have been happily married for 30 years in August and I'm sure our relationship will continue until one of us dies (which I hope is not for a long time!) . We seldom argue as neither of us enjoys unpleasantness, although we do not always agree. We both love each other, Robert being more demonstrative than me and often gives me a kiss and a hug. We both have our separate interests, as you can tell from my blog, so don't feel the need to be always with each other 24/7, but like being with each other when possible.
With my 2nd marriage we knew a few weeks into our relationship that this was the one, so I hope that it works out well for you and your partner.
I think if you have found someone who does except you for who you are and isn't interested in trying to change you then you are well on the way.
Plus you are exactly right regarding you needing to love yourself and accept yourself for who you are in order to be in a successful relationship.
Thanks for dropping by and I wish you all of the very best for the future.
Miles of Smiles,
Chezza <:-)
Congress of the snake would appear to be the area that most stresses a relationship. Once you work out how things sit with your partner then things settle down. For me, the best thing I learned was that you should be up front with how you feel rather than trying to follow societies "rules".
In our house I do the ironing and Liz mows the lawns. (Well when it used to grow!) The other trick was to back your partner to the hilt in family matters. Both our families tend to interfer with other family members and their relationships. The nicest comment I over heard was someone saying "It's no use bitching about Peter to Liz. She'll just get stuck into you."
Years ago Liz won a bowling comp that got us a trip to Queensland. Jim (our eldest) was about 10 at the time. I reckon it was about 3 days into the holiday before we started actually talking to each other. The kids had been so consuming that we had lost touch. It was quite a shock to see how inattentive I had been.
Nowadays it's nice to know the kids can confidently expect to pop home occasionally to a happy home. This is in stark contrast to my parents who "stayed together for the kids" but spent a lot of time bitching at each other. My sisters and I were relieved when they split up.Dunno how this works for young kids, but for us in our mid teens, splitting was a much happier option.
I agree about these challenges. I get to learn about myself without going to a Psycho.
Staying together for the kids: If there is constant tension between the parents whether that be displayed as obvious fighting or not speaking to each other or any other manner of ways, then studies have shown that it is best for the children if the parents do separate as long as the kids are not then pawns in their parent's 'pay back games'. Plus as long as the kids know it is not the kid's fault that the parents separated and they are still loved just the same.
Thanks Peter :-)