From some nice good Russian boys, to Sarah with love.

Hello Sarah Palin we wrote this song for you because we see you from Russia! Plz respond to our emails!! We like to hear from you!!

soon as i wayk up in the morning
i go to my window
i made this teliscop myself out of duck tape and the thing that holds the rapping paper

Apparently during Ben's footy match last week someone shouted at his team that they needed a firecracker up their ass.  As coincidence would have it, my brother sent me this photo in an email not realising there had been a firecracker comment.

I am glad Ben's team didn't take the spectator's advice...........

Cracker Jack

2 comments

No it is not April Fool’s Day. 

This is a true news story, this time from the Land Down Under.  By the way, I am terrified of salt water crocodiles, no other animal scares me like a “salty.”  Luckily I live in Victoria and we don’t generally have them wandering around in our school yards down our way.

Croc in custody after schoolyard visit

ABC News

04/04/08

A large saltwater crocodile has spent five days in police custody after being caught lurking around a schoolyard on Queensland's Cape York.

The reptile was apprehended in a trap by wildlife officers, but the problem was the animal was too big too airlift and police had to provide some local, secure accommodation.

Police have also confirmed they are looking for a second offender - another crocodile was also seen in the vicinity of the school.

One of the arresting officers, Sergeant Glenn Smith, says Parks and Wildlife were responding to a complaint about the crocodiles at the school at Injinoo.

"They've come down and set a trap for it. They've actually caught this croc the same night and brought it out, and they needed to make arrangements for its transportation down to Cairns," he said.

"So of course they had to stay somewhere and we just volunteered our services, and what was available was underneath one of the residences here at the police station, and we just put it in there under lock and key."

Sgt Smith says the crocodile was relatively well-behaved.

"I don't think he liked me. It was pretty quiet in there, he moved around a little bit as they do because they get a bit lively during the night," he said.

"We thought about putting him in the watch-house, but we had a look at that and then we had a look and thought, 'Okay, well there was only one door in and one door out, so if we get him in, we've got to get past him', so that wasn't a good idea.

"So we just left him in the cage and underneath the house, and he was catered for there. We just kept him hosed down.

"It was a good spot actually, because it was flat and we had the hose there... we could lock [the croc] up, and really keep an eye on him as well.

"You have to keep them a little bit moist from time to time, and they spend most of their nights in the water searching for food, so you just keep them wet."

Sgt Smith says the crocodile did not cause too much trouble at the school.

"[It was] just a bit worrying. The bigger one is still out there, and they've reset a trap for him, but he's a little bit more cunning, this fellow," he said.

"I was at the school this morning when the school opens, he seems to pop his head up and have a look.

"As I said, we've had reports when the school bell goes, he sticks his head up and has a little bit of a look. So obviously, he's a little bit more aware and a bit more cunning, and we're not too sure how long it'll take to catch this one."

Radio Audio Interview

Don't you just love a true news story that seems so bizarre that it couldn't possibly be true, well this is just one of those stories.  This is taken from our reliable news source, the Australian Broadcasting Commission, so it should be a ridgy didge story.

Bear convicted of stealing honey

A Macedonian court convicted a bear of theft and damage for stealing honey from a beekeeper who fought off the attacks with thumping "turbo-folk" music.

"I tried to distract the bear with lights and music because I heard bears are afraid of that," Zoran Kiseloski told top-selling daily Dnevnik after the year-long case of the bear vs the beekeeper ended in the beekeeper's favour.

"So I bought a generator, lit up the area and put on songs of (Serbian 'turbo-folk' star) Ceca."

The bear stayed away for a few weeks, but came back when the generator ran out of power and the music fell silent, Mr Kiseloski said, adding, "it attacked the beehives again."

A court in the city of Bitola found the bear guilty, and since it had no owner and belonged to a protected species, ordered the state to pay the 140,000 denars ($3,550) damage it caused to the hives.

There was no information on the whereabouts of the bear.

Pooh found guilty

Hilarious look at sex(less) law in Texas.  This is an eleven minute edit of a sixty three minute full documentary, available at http://dildodiariesfilm.net

It is great viewing especially the rather interesting hypocrisy of the law, see if you can spot it.   Not to mention the need to speak in a secret code to buy such a device.

Also it really makes you wonder what sort of sick perverts these people are that passed the ban on dildos in the first place - the things they think people get up to??????? 

Are you serious?

People do things like that!!!!!! 

Maybe in Texas, but not where I come from.  Okay there is kinky and then there is just plain perversion.

Here is where the story is so far:

The Texas Dildo Massacre

On Feb. 13, sex-toy retailers in Texas rejoiced when a federal appeals court ruled—just in time for Valentine's Day—that a Texas prohibition against the sale of dildos and  pocket pussies violated the 14^th Amendment.

According to the Texas (ahem) penal code, it is forbidden to sell or to advertise an artificial penis or vagina "primarily for the stimulation of human genital organs." The statute makes an exception for instances in which the purchase meets a "medical, psychiatric, judicial, legislative, or law enforcement" need. Even so, in Reliable Consultants v. Ronnie Earle, the normally conservative 5^th Circuit Court of Appeals struck down the ban on the grounds that it violated the right of ordinary citizens "to engage in private intimate conduct in the home without government intrusion."

One of only four states banning sexual doodads (the other three are Virginia, Mississippi, and Alabama), Texas is not about to take this insult lying down. Last week, state Attorney General Greg Abbott petitioned the appellate court to reconsider the matter en banc (see exerpts below and on the following three pages). Abbott wrote that, if permitted to stand, the court's decision may "invite … challenges to previously-uncontroversial criminal prohibitions" on sexual practices such as "consensual adult incest or bigamy" (Page 4). continued

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Anyway I shouldn't laugh too loudly, as my little Aussie country town won't even allow an 'adult bookshop' i.e. a sex toy shop.  But if we need our essential toys we can always head to a bigger city and buy our toys without the charade of speaking in secret code.  Who knows maybe the charade enhances the enjoyment of the 'educational aid'.   Ooooooow doing something  you shouldn't be doing, yes very exciting indeed.  Maybe these officials aren't so silly after all, they know how to get their kicks!

Speaking about my sleepy little country town.  Here is a slightly similar story.  In a town nearby there is a rather fundamentalist Christian group, yes we do have them in Australia.  Anyway about 15 years ago a health food shop opened in my town and it decided to sell healing crystals, yes I know what an abomination!  So this group had nothing better to do with their time, so they decided to travel to my town and stage a protest outside the health food shop.  After a few days I think they got sick of it and went back to their part of the region.  Then about 5 years ago a hippy type shop decided to open up in my town and of course it sold, candles, incense, new age books and yes those terrible healing crystals - so guess who had nothing better to do with their time once again!

Oh we are an evil lot on my town - we do need saving from those healing crystals!

Million Fag March Will Protest Westboro Baptist

http://www.pensitoreview.com/2008/03/...

Finally, someone is protesting the world’s most odious protester. The Million Fag March is set for Sunday morning, March 30 in Topeka, Kan., home of Fred Phelps’ Westboro Baptist Church. Fred and his family (13 children and 54 grandchildren) show up at military funerals with signs reading, “God Hates Fags,” “God Hates America,” “Fags Die, God Laughs,” etc. Fred apparently arrives at these insights after personal discussions with The Creator wherein He tells Fred that everything bad that happens in the world is His revenge for America “tolerating” gays. Organizers say it’s time to “show Phelps and his church that freedom of speech works both ways. There are two big challenges with the march. First is the laws passed in Topeka to protect other churches from Phelps. They prohibit the Freds of the world (of which, mercifully, there are few) from getting within 50 feet of a house of worship for a half-hour before or after services are planned. So the march might have to take place in Topeka but not too close to Westboro Baptist. The second challenge could be even harder. Organizers are determined to keep the protest peaceful, but since Fred’s whole goal is to whip up feelings of intolerance and hate, not responding in kind will be a toughie. Still, the expectation is clear. Absolutely. No. Violence. It doesn’t matter if Fred Phelps comes to the March himself and starts throwing punches. The police will handle it. If you feel that you could in any way be provoked, do not plan on attending. …The Phelps family uses hate speech to draw attention to themselves. To do that during the March would only be bringing ourselves down to their level. So, please, no hate speech on your signs, clothes, and mouths. Besides, “God Hates Fred” signs are lame and obvious. You can do better. Sending the message you want to send without being blatantly hateful shouldn’t be all that hard for you. If you’re anywhere near Topeka, please plan to atten...

So this time around they decided to have a go at the Westboro Baptist Church.  It was actually rather intriguing because the way they went about tackling the cult during a protest, could in fact be an effective disarming tactic.  Either engage them in conversation about their 'religion' or start 'chatting' the members up, hopefully they will be so busy discussing their religion or fending off the advancements of admirers, that they will not be able to effectively protest.

Anyway good luck to those who plan on having their own protest against the WBC on the 30th March.  I hope it goes smoothly.  Obviously it won't stop the WBC from continuing to do what they do, but I think if carried out in the right manner it will be good for those who just want to have some sort of a feeling of justice. 

I wonder if the WBC members will be around for the protest, they might go into hiding, let's see what they are really made of.