49 posts tagged “humor”
Not sure why it was called Swine Flu as it has nothing to do with pigs. I wish some one had of told that to the Egyptians who culled 250, 000 pigs due to the confusion.
The WHO are now referring to the virus as Influenza A (H1N1) to try and reduce the confusion.
LOL
WASHINGTON, DC—A recently released Pentagon report is raising new worries that Iran has been operating several large facilities designed solely for the purpose of enriching mass quantities of high-grade students. "We have reason to believe that specially trained Iranian science teachers are taking raw, unrefined brain power and bombarding it with knowledge at accelerated levels," said U.S. Undersecretary Of Defense For Intelligence Stephen Cambone at a Tuesday press conference. "If current levels of student concentration remain this high, Iran could be a mere five to eight years away from developing an atomic scientist."
Leading analysts believe that the teachers are using a widely applied enrichment process in which students are isolated from such elements as family, play, and cartoons, and are rotated through seven separative work units over the course of each day. This cycle is repeated for months, until the students are made highly reactive to reading matter, which enables them to absorb large amounts of information in short periods of time.
The students are then continually exposed to heavy material, taught to achieve critical thought, and finally graduate to a state of explosive productivity.
Hard evidence that would support the Pentagon's findings includes a top-secret syllabus, acquired by the CIA, which indicates that Iran may begin testing their students, possibly without warning, as early as next Friday. Reconnaissance-satellite images also reveal the presence of two Tehran–area facilities identified by intelligence sources only as "P.S. 235" and "H.S. 238."
Despite the Pentagon's announcement in mid-June that Iran had halted its nuclear-science program, additional satellite photos taken in early September clearly show 40-foot-long buses transporting multiple loads of students to these facilities in the morning hours between 7 and 8 a.m. Some images also reveal a short, 20-foot-long bus thought to contain a smaller number of highly volatile, non-reactive, and extremely dense students.
"While we believe that a majority of these students were developed within Iran's borders anywhere from 13 to 17 years ago, there is also evidence that they are importing older students from former Soviet republics and Pakistan in what officials have dubbed an 'exchange program,'" CIA Director Michael Hayden said.
Although no one is sure exactly what is being conducted inside the accelerated core curriculum, a team of UNESCO inspectors who visited suspected Iranian enrichment facilities in 2004 found a number of microscopes, Bunsen burners, centrifuges, and reference materials, including a stockpile of instructional materials and textbooks covered in brown paper wrapping intended to obscure the material's subject matter.
In a nationally televised Oval Office address Tuesday, President Bush expressed the concern that if Iran is allowed to enrich its students unchecked, many of them could end up anywhere, with some potentially landing in major university centers in New York and Los Angeles.
"The U.S. stopped enriching its students decades ago, and we call upon Iran to do the same," Bush said. "If the Iranians do not put an end to this program by the middle of December, and impose final examinations, they could face further isolation from the international community."
As the U.S. awaits a response to the ultimatum, American intelligence continues to monitor a rumored late-afternoon summit, consisting of a series of secretive bilateral meetings between parents and a female science expert known as Mrs. Bakhtiari.
This will be me in a few years time. I wish technology changes would slow down so I can catch up. I have still got the same TV from 18 years ago - of course now that I have said that it will blow up tomorrow.
I hope everyone is well and is geared up for Christmas.
I have done my Christmas shopping - Yay! Ben is supposed to be wrapping the presents at this very moment - but he is a teenager, so of course he isn't!
Sorry I haven't been around. I caught another cold last week and so I have been trying really hard to rest and recover so that I can see my family who is scattered all over the countryside. We start our travels this Friday until after Christmas. I know I will be well and truly stuffed after Christmas, but I am sure it will be worth it.
So if I don't get to say a proper Merry Christmas (or whatever you would like me to say) a bit closer to Christmas I shall wish you one now.
Stay safe and healthy everyone.
Come to Australia to discover our secret!
A return ticket home won't be necessary.
Then someone conned me into playing Mob Wars and I reluctantly said, "Oh okay then, but I really am not a violent person and the idea of being a mobster attacking people really doesn't turn me on"
Well apparently it does! I am totally addicted and I swear if that Jenkins mobster SOB attacks me one more time and puts me in hospital yet again, I am going to get so armed that I will show him what it is like to be continually attacked for 3 straight days!
Today I had to delete my cute virtual puppy Weiler, because feeding him and playing with him took up way too much time and the thought of him starving while I ignored him, was just too much to bear. So here I am grieving over the loss of a virtual puppy.
I only have eight FB friends and I wonder should I feel sad that no one loves me, or relieved that I haven't got 300+ friends like some people, because if I did I would feel guilty for not keeping up with their latest "Status Updates." It would be terrible if I didn't realise that, "Susie is having iced doughnuts for her coffee break" or that "Mike is thinking Batman is the best super hero of all time!" I just don't think I could live with myself if I missed such vital information about my 397 friends - if I actually had that many friends!
But it appears government intervention may actually be my saviour. If Australian internet content is censored like the giovernment hopes it to be, then it is possible that FB will be cut off from me and who knows possibly Vox and YouTube too.
It is now 2.10pm and I haven't had lunch yet and I really do need to get back to Mob Wars to protect my stockpile of cash from that Jenkins mobster!
Make sure you scroll all the way down to the end of this post to get the full assessment of my state of evilness!
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This is my own result.
It is rather amusing that one of the people who is happy to have people refer to liberals as evil on his blog, actually came onto my own blog once and thought it was disgusting
that some liberals were apparently saying
GW Bush is evil.
Not me, but he felt the need to share and accuse me of doing the same
I seriously think some people really do need to get a grip on reality and choose their words wisely.
That includes everyone on whatever side of the political fence you are on.
For how shall we describe a true act of evil in this world if we have diminished the meaning and impact of such a word?
There is an email doing the rounds at the moment.
Subject: The Front Fell Off
In August 2007 an oil tanker off the coast of Australia split in two, dumping 20, 000 tons of crude oil.
Senator Collins a member of Australia's Parliament, appeared on a TV news program to reassure the Australian public.
This actual interview is so funny you would think it came from Saturday Night Live.
It just proves ......... Once a politician, always a politician!
Enjoy!
The truth is it is an Aussie comedy skit which was done after an oil tanker lost its bow off the coast of Western Australia in 1991. John Clarke is the 'politician' and Brian Dawe in the 'interviewer'
