To everyone who has wondered where I have been and to all those who have sent me msgs and I haven't got back to you I am very sorry.

Initially I was trying to catch up on some essential paperwork - not even remotely finished yet, but that had to be put on hold and it is still waiting for me.

Then it really all started - there has been family crisis after family crisis.

Just when I thought I would be back here to say hello, Hubby had other plans. He had a heart attack on Tuesday and had to be flown to Melbourne.  I followed down by car with our eldest son and we returned on Friday to do things which couldn't be put off.  Hubby came back home last night with our 2nd eldest son.

Luckily when the heart attack occurred, we did every thing right and got an ambulance immediately and he was given treatment straight away at our local hospital which dissolved the clot very quickly.  So it looks as if damage to the heart is minimal.

His specialist (he has never had a specialist before) said even if Hubby had lived on lettuce for all of his life he still would have had a heart attack, as it appears there is a strong genetic link.  Now his brothers and sister need to have stress tests, as does his cousins on his mother's side.  Eventually as the children get to around the age of 40, they too will need to be monitored.

We now have to have a his and hers section to our medicine cabinet, as we are now on about an even par with the number of medications we take.

We have been very lucky our family has been there every step of the way and are still helping out at this very moment.

I hope everyone else is doing well.

I need to blend into the background for a bit as my medical treatment is giving me a bit of a hard time at the moment.  So a rest from controversial subjects and lengthy debates is the order of the day, week, month or as long as I can keep my big mouth shut.

Australia Post Illusion

Great photo isn’t it.  From what I have read up about this photo, it hasn’t been photoshopped and it is an example of some excellent body art.

Now speaking of keeping one’s mouth shut and blending into the background, I wish Hubby’s Mum understood that concept.  I had a very embarrassing time at the doctor’s with her yesterday.

I took Hubby's Mum for her 6 monthly check up.  Anyway she is deaf and she speaks LOUDLY and she is VERY opinionated, which can be a bad combination in confined areas.  So she decided to let lose in the doctor’s waiting room with her opinions on the Australian Government’s apology to the indigenous communities in regards to the “Stolen Generation”.

For those who don’t realise where I live, I do live in a town which has a reasonable population of indigenous people.  Also one of the receptionists at the doctors is a lovely lady who has indigenous heritage.  

So off goes Mother in full throttle on a loud tirade about how wrong the PM was to make the apology, and he needs to recant his apology and say that most of the indigenous people were saved and not taken. If that was not enough and trust me it was already well and truly too much, then she starts by stating loudly how she likes the full blooded aboriginals, but she doesn't like the “part” aboriginals – she doesn’t even know one aboriginal but anyway she knows! 

She went on and on and on.

So what was I doing this whole time, besides looking for the closest exit or a shovel to dig a hole to bury myself in?

Well I was disagreeing with her in the hope people would realise I did not agree with her and they would just take her words as words of an elderly lady, who has lost all sense of tact, and therefore if there were any indigenous people sitting behind us, they wouldn’t become too upset and confront us.  I was also praying that the lovely indigenous receptionist was at lunch while all of this was happening.  She wasn't on the counter, but later I did see her around at the back of reception.  I really hope she wasn’t privy to Mother’s ‘conversation’.  

Later on 3 indigenous Aussies did turn up in the waiting room; thank God she had stopped her rant by that stage! 

I may have to have a quiet word with her before I take her back to have blood tests and then another time to get the results - I don't want to go through that again.  The problem is she won’t remember she has already had this rant with me and she may do it again and again.  The other alternative is that someone else can take her.  Maybe hubby can take her, given he thought it was a great joke.

Old people they seem to totally lose tact, think no one else can hear them and they KNOW they are right and they are not afraid to tell anyone who they corner!

I do love her though.

My apologies to any indigenous Aussies for my Mum in-law’s lack of tact and understanding – she is 90, so I think we shall give her a “Get of Jail Free” card.

Yesterday was the first day I visited Vox in about 3 weeks.  In the two years since I have been blogging I have never been away from a blogsite for so long.  Never has the desire to post anything left me until 3 weeks ago.

It is true that I have been exceedingly busy, but that is not the reason I haven’t been here, the truth is I just couldn’t face Vox.  I couldn’t face blogging.  The desire to come here left me over night on the night of the 14/03/08.  That is when the straw broke the camels back for me and blogging.

I was listening and watching the Winter Soldier commentary.  I wasn’t shocked by the returned service men and women’s stories; I was expecting them to be as devastating as they were.  That was the problem, there was no surprise.  Five years ago the US and the Coalition of the Willing went to war with Iraq and I was totally opposed to the war, not because I am a pacifist because in reality I am not.  I was opposed because I knew the war was based on poor information and there was no real justification for going to war with Iraq.  I also knew what the consequences would be if we did go to war, a long drawn out occupation, many killed and injured on both sides and the risk that the world would become an even more hostile place.  I wish I was wrong, I had hoped when the statue of Saddam Hussein fell that just maybe I was wrong, but I wasn’t. It didn’t matter that I was against the war for what I believe to be the right reasons, it didn’t matter that I spoke out against the war, the war still happened and I was powerless to do anything about it.  In reality I am just as powerless today.  Even with all of that death and destruction, people still want to plough on and cause more death and destruction.  My faith in humanity left me three weeks ago.  But like I said the Winter Soldier commentary was just the straw that broke the camels back, my faith in humanity was already well and truly on the slide before the 14/03/08, I had just been trying hard to fight it.

Unless I say what I need to say now there is no way that I will be able to blog again.  I need to say what I have to say so that I can move on.  Yes I know very melodramatic.

I live by a very simple principle, I try and treat others how I would like to be treated and I expect people to treat others and myself with compassion and respect.  As long as a person is not hurting others or me with their actions then I am okay with that.  I don’t care what your race is, what your gender is, what your skin colour is, what your sexuality is, what your culture is, what your religion is, what your education is and any other label that can be applied to some one, as long as you treat others well, then I will be in your corner.  However, I don’t take much crap from anyone these days, treat me unfairly and I won’t hang around for too long and take more of your crap and I certainly won't happily and silently watch on as you inflict your crap on others. 

Yes this is leading some where, I have said I have lost my faith in humanity, well it isn’t just humanity I have lost my faith in, the biggest loss of faith for me is in organised religion.  You know religion that self professed bastion of humanity, compassion, love, truth and well apparently all that is supposed to be good in the world, yes good as distinct from evil.  Oh yes there some members of organised religion who seem to display those good traits, my own grandmother was certainly one of those saintly figures. 

To all who belong to an organised religion I am not criticising you, like I said if you treat others well and don’t use your religion to kick others in the guts, well you have got my respect and support. But as for me, I am jumping off the religious bandwagon because it is not for me; I have lost my faith in religion.  Way too many hypocrites, way too many people using their religion to knock people around and way too many people hiding behind their religion instead of using their brain and thinking for themselves. It is not okay to oppress others just because you believe your holy book or your spiritual advisor seems to indicate that it is okay. In case you missed that last bit I shall repeat it again, your religion does NOT give you the right to oppress people, or to dictate your beliefs onto others.  If people are not hurting you or others then leave them alone, mind your own business.  Stop spreading hatred and intolerance and hiding behind your religion, hatred and intolerance of people who are not hurting anyone is WRONG!

So just to make it absolutely clear I am no longer associated with any organised religion.  I want to be free to express my own views, to have my own opinions, to be free to think for myself and not be answerable to religious thought police who seem to be around every corner. I know what is right and what is wrong and I am grown up enough to think for myself.

So now that I have said what I needed to say, I can now move on and deal with this planet and the people on it. Luckily there are enough good people out there to restore my faith in humanity and they come from all walks of life and some prefer to belong to a religion and some like me don’t.

Chezza

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Anyway here is some great music which basically sums up how I feel.

wear my heart on my sleeve,
I'm not afraid to say what i mean,
Mean what i say.
I set myself up, let myself down,
I may be a fool to spread it around.
But i just wanna let you know,
Sometimes i find it so hard not to show,
So i sigh and i let my feelings go.

When I was young, it seemed that life was so wonderful,
A miracle, oh it was beautiful, magical.
And all the birds in the trees, well they’d be singing so happily,
Joyfully, playfully watching me.
But then they send me away to teach me how to be sensible,
Logical, responsible, practical.
And they showed me a world where I could be so dependable,
Clinical, intellectual, cynical.

Supertramp - The Logical Song

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Crazy - Gnarl Barkley

Thanks to a fellow crazy friend for 'dedicating' this song to me.
Poor thing she is as crazy as me.

Black Eyed Peas- Where Is The Love

And to another great friend for telling me about this song.

James Blunt - No Bravery

The utter futility of war.

Today is said to be the day women can ask men to marry them and it was on this day 12 years ago that I asked my man to marry me.  Hubby can be a bit unsure of himself at times and I figured if I waited for him to pop the question it could be a long way off.  So when the opportunity arose on the 29th February 1996, I jumped at the opportunity.  We had only been seeing each other for 6 months, but we knew we were meant for each other.

I queried Hubby last night if he even remembered how I proposed and he knows I did, but he can't remember how.  No there wasn't any engagement ring, as we had both been married before and we didn't think that was necessary.  I did not get down on bended knee and pop the question, as I think that is a man's job not a woman's job when it comes to asking for a hand in marriage. 

My method was simple.  I organised with a florist to deliver six long stemmed red roses, yes only six the intention was twelve but they were too expensive!  So I settled for six, the cheapskate that I am.  There was a romantic card attached and I am not sure exactly what I said, but there was a proposal of marriage in there.

Anyway my man did say yes.  He met me after work to say yes.

So a year to the day after my proposal we were married.  However not on the 29th February, but on the 1st March 1997.  We couldn't get married on the 29th February 1997 because that date didn't exist.

So tomorrow is our eleven year wedding anniversary and we couldn't be happier with our marriage.

We were married on the side of Mount Little Higginbotham which is near Mount Hotham in North Eastern Victoria, Australia.

We both love the mountains, so we decided to get married up in the mountains.  It took a lot of enjoyable research to find the right spot.  The spot which we chose was under a snow gum and it looked down over a huge valley with a mountain on the other side.  The joke was that if one of the guests was against the marriage they could have just pushed one of us over the side of the mountain and down into the valley below. 

We were married by the church minister who was my church minister when I was a teenager and she just as luck would have it, happened to be living in Mount Beauty at the time, which is a town situated below Mount Hotham and she was happy to make the trip up the mountain to marry us.

Our Wedding: The two of us with a very young Ben, he is now taller than both of us!

Given we were getting married in the mountains we decided to wear clothes associated with the Mountain Cattlemen.  So R.M. Williams moleskins, shirts and boots were the order of the day.

The weather was perfect, a mild 20C which is excellent weather for the mountains at that time of the year.  We were very lucky because according to the relatives who stayed up on the mountain, the next day the mountain was completely fogged in.

Our Wedding. With our newly united family. Quinn, Kalyn, Hubby, me, Leigh and Ben in front.

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I scanned this photo this morning from a large print and I have only just noticed that Kalyn has got something tucked under her shirt - I think it must be her jumper?

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Okay a quick update. 

I just came across thi video and I had to post it here.

So girls here is how you do it!

It has been a while since I have mentioned my treatment, so I guess it might be time to give a bit of an update.  I have been on it now for about three and half months, so I guess I am about on track time line wise.  I am now nearing the end of phase 1 and if all goes to plan, I will be starting phase 2 in about three weeks.  In total there are four phases.

It has certainly knocked me around physically.  Prior to starting treatment I had started doing a couple of hours work at the local pharmacy, but I haven’t been able to since shortly after starting treatment.

The exposure to sunlight restrictions have been an absolute pain, as I have felt like I am living in a prison.  I found that too much time in a car travelling extended distances even though I was totally covered, still allowed enough exposure to sunlight to be a problem.  So I have to be extremely careful how much exposure to sunlight I have, which is not much at all.  As a result I have missed out on some family trips away; luckily I can handle my own company.

The extremely hot weather spells have not been met with my approval and have added to my restrictions in terms of getting out of the house.  Getting out in gear that totally prevents sunlight exposure in 40+C heat is not very much fun at all, plus the heat increases tissue penetration of the antibiotic and therefore results in an increase in symptoms.

The days when the antibiotics kick in are not pleasant to say the least, and I found that the last increase in antibiotic M two weeks ago really had a major impact and I have experienced a lot more unpleasant physical symptoms.  It has made for some rather depressing days.  There are days I wonder why on earth did I start this, but I know I cannot and will not stop unless it gets to be totally unbearable.

The good news is that my blood tests are showing that something is definitely happening in my body and my immune systems is in fighting mode and that is why I am experiencing the symptoms and that is what is supposed to happen.  I am used to wearing sunglasses whenever I am awake and my eye’s sensitivity to light has decreased when I compare the sensitivity when I initially started treatment to now.

At this stage I cannot say whether the last 3 months have been worth it, as I have got at least another 12 to 15 months to go in full treatment mode and therefore a few more bad days to come.  Hopefully one day my Mum will understand that I cannot say if the treatment is helping me and one day I won’t have to regularly say to her, “No Mum I do not feel better yet. I am not supposed to yet, as I have to feel worse before I can feel better.”

So that is the update.

I am still here and I can still smile on most days!

Marilyn

T'is the time of the year to be jolly.  I would say "Ho, Ho, Ho Merry Christmas" but that is now politically incorrect as I  maybe referring to some one's whore and there are some that don't even like the "Merry Christmas" bit.  So I guess I shall say, "Have a good one!" whatever 'one' is.

Nah stuff it, "Merry Christmas" to you all and have a BONZA 2008.

Thanks to all who dropped by and read some of my posts.  Thanks to all of you who wrote interesting, thought provoking and amusing posts (sometimes all in the one post) and shared your inner thoughts with the world.  Thank you to those who shared their beautiful talents in so many varied artistic forms.

I am grateful to all of the friends I have made along the way and the support I have received from many of you.  Sorry to the odd one or two I set free along the way, I sincerely hope that you are doing well.

This past year has been a big year for me, especially the 2nd half of the year.

My youngest son decided to play Aussie Rules football for the first time, so I became a 'footy' Mum.

I lost my grandfather just 5 weeks short of his 102nd birthday.

One son was married and he and his bride bought their first house.

I started a new treatment for my ME/CFS. There have been tough times along the way, it has not been smooth sailing but I am working through it day by day.  Since starting in September time seems to have just escaped me.

This month has been eventful.  Our daughter and her partner bought their first house and they became engaged the night they moved in.  Last weekend it was Hubby's mother's 90th birthday party - that was a big event.  I have had a couple of 3 hour (each way) trips to Melbourne for various reasons and they have zapped my energy.  December has also been a month of continual dramas with internet and phone companies for one reason or another.  The latest drama was so ridiculous that for the first time in Chezza history I will be making a formal written complaint.

The Christmas presents have finally been bought and wrapped.  I have never left buying Christmas presents to nearly the last minute, it is a huge relief to have them finally sorted out.  *Big Sigh*

We haven't put a Christmas tree up.  Not one Christmas card has been written - Oh dear will they ever forgive me.

Tomorrow the Christmas celebrations begin with a visit from part of my side of the family for lunch. 

Then Christmas Day we will have a family breakfast with the kids and then head off to Hubby's extended family's Christmas lunch.  Naturally I shall be in blackout gear to repel the nasty sunbeams.

Due to a mountain of things I really must attend to, I will not be around much for a while.  I have a "To Do List" that MUST be done and there is only one way that it will be done and that is less time hanging out here.  Of course I am addicted to this place so I am sure I will be around just a tiny wee bit.

Christmas Nativity

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Christmas Reindeer

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Oh one huge event I forgot to mention, the Australian Liberal (RW conservatives - don't let the name fool you!) Party fell in a landslide election defeat and now Australia has a new Prime Minister and the Australian Labor Party is now in power.  Hopefully good things will come from the change in government.

As Catholics were responsible for writing the New Testament (under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit), the Catholic Church doesn't "interpret" the Bible. We explain it. Protestants can only "interpret", because they are not the author (guided by the Holy Spirit), and therefore, can only guess at the possible meaning of a chapter, passage or phrase, just as anyone can only guess at any author's intentions in any other book. As the author, the Catholic Church is the only proper authority to consult in matters pertaining to the Bible. (Source)

Interesting statement isn’t it.  Rather pompous actually.  It didn’t come from a mainstream Catholic source so that is refreshing and no I am not about to start bashing the Catholics.  It is a great example of how some people, groups, churches believe that they have the monopoly on Christianity and what they believe is the only way.

Well I have recovered from two weeks spent examining the “Young Earth Creationist Theory”.  I honestly thought they had put me off Christianity for life, but I was wrong.  I woke up this morning and there had been a shift in my thinking.  No I haven’t been struck down by some awe inspiring revelation and have become a born again Christian, I am just me.

I have decided to close the book of the Old Testament as I don’t feel I need it.  I am probably not a typical Christian, and maybe I am a “cafeteria Christian” and I am fine about that.  If a day of judgement comes then it will not be other Christians who judge me, so I am not out to please other Christians and do it their way.

I try to be a good person and I don’t always succeed and that is okay.  When I think of all that should be good, compassionate, loving I have an image in my head and that image is Jesus.  Unfortunately it is white Jesus, but that is because I have seen his image so many times that it is who I see even though I know in reality Jesus would be of Middle Eastern appearance.

From what I can gather from the gospels Jesus did not concern himself with things such as did man live with the dinosaurs and a whole lot of other stuff that people seem to needlessly concern themselves with.  I think the basic teachings of Jesus are love, compassion, acceptance, and looking after the unfortunate in this world.  Trying to do the best that we can, knowing that sometimes we will fall short and it is okay.

Shouldn’t our number one priority in life be to help others, rather than attempt to control them and dictate what they can and can’t do and what they can or can’t think.  Wouldn’t it make sense to lead a good life and hopefully inspire others to lead a good life as well?

I see Jesus as an inspiration for me to be a better person and I believe that is what he would expect of me.  It doesn’t even matter to me that some people don’t even think he existed, as for me it is what he represents that matters.

As far as the Bible is concerned I actually don’t care what some authors say, I really don’t care what Paul has got to say.  I am more interested in what Jesus had to say and I honestly cannot say that he has been portrayed accurately in the Bible, but I know what he represents to me and that is all that counts.  It doesn’t take much to know right from wrong; I don’t need to read every passage of the Bible to know right from wrong and I don’t need Bible passages to justify my actions.  I accept my actions as my actions.

If I see Jesus as love, then it makes sense that only good can come from that.  I don’t need to believe in Genesis to know Jesus is love and it is ridiculous to waste time debating things such as that when there are people in the world who need help. They don’t care if Genesis is true or not, they just need help.

If it is important to you that whatever creation theory supersedes the theory of evolution then fine spend your time, energy and money debating it.  But I will not be, as there are far more important things in life than worrying about where we came from and whether dinosaurs walked on the Earth side by side with men.

The arguments put forward by the “Young Earth Creation Theory” nearly turned me away from Christianity.  When the pathetic, grasping at straws actions of Christianity look stupid in the eyes of others it can only do Christianity harm. 

For those that don't know I am currently under going medical treatment where I have to avoid sunlight, this is just me having a bit of fun with some of the clothing.  The black clothes are undergarments and they are quite often used for extreme weather outdoor activities such as hiking.  The hat is called a Frillneck Urban Turban.  The glasses are special sunglasses I have to wear inside and outside due to an increase in sensitivity to sunlight.  The mask is called a Buff and they are also used by outdoors people to protect them from the elements - I intend to wear it more as a scarf than use it to completely cover my face.  Due to the configuration of the hat it can cover my face if needed.

Would you buy a very dusty used car from this person?

Practising for the World Pole Dancing Competition

Prepare to be attacked!

Prepare to die!

Time to meet your maker!

Nice puppy dog

2 comments

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No I am NOT a terrorist

Arrrghhhh

So much to comment about, so much to write about in regards to the injustice in the world, but at the moment I just have to try and ignore it all.  I can't afford to get into any serious debates, as I may not be able to follow through with my arguments due to my health and I hate it to look like I pull out when the going gets tough in a debate and using my health as an excuse is not really an excuse - according to some (I haven't had that charge levelled at me, but I know someone who has).  I have one post which I really want to get back to about Israel/Palestine but I can't because I know how much energy it will take out of me.  I know that the world will still keep turning whether I am here or not, but it is still frustrating.

I was hoping to go to work today for a couple of hours, but it is not going to happen due to my health and new treatment regime - Bugger!

Anyway if the pain and other symptoms means I am heading in the right direction with my treatment, then it will be worth it.  Still frustrating though :)

No need to comment just letting it out!

Is it my imagination or is the font slightly different?  Probably just my mind playing tricks on me.

My last post was about a few things really, it was about what is real news and what is just ‘news’ designed to dumb us down and make us fight over the less important things, while the more important stuff is pushed along and we don’t even realise it.  I consider what is happening over in Burma real news and warrants attention.  I consider the Sally Field Emmy Awards ‘incident’ very incidental. 

Another point to the post was to disclose what I consider hypocrisy especially from some so called ‘Christians’.  It seems that the Christianity that I was brought up with and is still a part of me, is not the same Christianity that others consider Christianity. My view on Christianity is one of love, kindness, forgiveness, speaking out against injustice and when speaking out we do so in a reasonably respectful manner. I do not in my opinion see that it is our right to condemn people in God’s name; I believe that is God’s role.   I am not perfect and I do get angry and say things I regret out of anger, but I am generally the first person to admit such a thing and if tackled on it, I will at least consider my stand and refine it and apologise if required and hopefully learn something from it.  That is what life is about learning from mistakes, learning as much as possible and trying to do some good in the world. Christians are not perfect, nor are they meant to be, but I think that they do need to set themselves some reasonable standards of behaviour in this world.

I don’t watch the Emmy’s or the Oscars or the Grammy’s none of that stuff interests me, it is so superficial, so I would not have even known about Sally Field’s ‘incident’ at the Emmy’s had I not come across a post in the Catholic Group.  I was curious why the post was in the Catholic Vox group? Yes there was a reference to using God’s name in vain and the fact that Sally Fields had been the “Flying Nun” but the rest of the post was full of spite, anger and in my opinion a post just designed to tear some one apart. I felt disgusted that a post such as this was allowed to be in any Christian Group.  The name of the post was, “I’ve had it with Has-beens!”  I made some comments to the post and I didn’t get very far with my views, but that is fine I don’t expect people to agree with me.  I had hoped that the moderators of the group would have deleted it from the group, but I knew that they wouldn’t due to some in house politics.  I have posted to the group before about Christianity and have posted the same posts to other Christian Groups.  In the other Christian groups I have had some very good discussion and I was grateful and learnt a lot and the whole point was to get some open discussion.  However in the Catholic Vox group, I was virtually told to get out because I didn’t sound like a Catholic.  A Catholic voxer that I know posted to the group and was once told the same thing, “What are you doing here you don’t sound like you are Catholic?” There was also a reference that the Voxer did not use the word God enough.”

So my post from yesterday was partly in response to the post at the Catholic Vox group and I figured that if a hate filled piece (in my opinion) was allowed in the Catholic Vox group then why shouldn’t mine.  I had a feeling that it may get thrown out of the group, but in my opinion if my post was to be thrown out, then so should the other post.  Yes I was testing them, guilty as charged but I just wanted to test how hypocritical the group moderators were.  Well I came online this morning and guess what my post has been removed from the Catholic Vox Group and the other post titled, “I’ve had it with Has-beens!” is of course still there.

If that is the type of image that they wish to portray then so be it, not my problem but I really think it is a poor reflection on Christianity that such a piece is allowed to demonstrate to the world what Christianity is all about.  Atheists would love the post in question as it would give them so much material to work with.

If the writer of the post wants to do a character assassination on Sally Field, then fine it is none of my business.

If the writer wants to chastise Sally for saying the G-Bomb well I haven’t got a problem with that either, but a character assassination is not required to do such a thing and that is what I object to and that is why I do not believe the post should have been in the group.  If the post was not a character assassination then I would not have a problem with it being in the Catholic Vox group if its sole purpose was to chastise Sally about her use of the G-Bomb and how it offended the writer because he/she was a Catholic Christian.

I believe that Christians have a reputation to uphold and this sort of article just makes me sad.  But I could be wrong, may be I have the wrong idea about Christianity and that also makes me sad, but I don’t think I have got the wrong idea regarding many Christians.

The Catholic Vox group will be happy to learn that I shall be withdrawing my membership shortly after posting this post.

Have a safe and happy day to all :)